desperateicon (desperateicon) wrote,

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adam told me he doesn't want to continue seeing me, after i stayed with him for a couple of days. not sure why he couldn't tell me at the start of my stay, rather than before i left. i'm not pleased to say the least, but hell.. i can do nothing. he's not the first. won't be the last. i always soldier on. obviously. christ.
so after leaving his on thursday i popped into james' & lora's for tea. decided i'd stay there & go to bring on the dancing horses with them. james went down to ed's flat to see him, so me & lora went to the shop, nattered lots, etc.
the night out was good. it took my mind off stuff for a while. there was also some young girl who asked me if a sonic youth song was the cribs. it upset me. shocked me. a bit of everything. but either way i cuddled her & said 'god bless you'.

yesterday morning i quit my job. i know it was the worst way to do it, to just phone & say i'm not going in again. i feel bad, but i'd been wanting to tell them for a while & didn't really know how to. although i know it wasn't the most proffesional or nicest way to do it, i do feel a relief i have done it finally. the hours wouldn't be suitable come a week monday, when i start my course.
luckily though, immediately after phoning them, i went on the job centre plus website to see what work they had up, & saw an advert for IKON in bolton. chavvy club. but what the hell, i can't afford to be that fussy. so i called. had an interview two hours after the call, & then last night at half 9, i went for my first shift.
it seemed so fast that i was working somewhere else the same day i quit the lockkeepers.
chavvy as the place is, it was good fun. we get to pocket our own tips, & i made £7, which for my first night isn't bad at all. it's something nice along side your wages. the pay alone per hour is a pound more an hour than i was on at lock keepers, & the hours are going to be better for me when i start my course. i'll be working 10 - 4ish thursday, friday & saturday night. i can sleep in saturday & sunday, so really... friday is going to be the only day i'll struggle with being tired at uni. but i'm sure i can manage being tired for one day a week. & i'll get paid weekly, which i'm happy about. it'll be a lot better for me than the lock keepers would have been.
my tips can be my gig money. :D!!
so many shows i want to go to are coming up. i think i'm sadly going to have to give sigur ros a miss. i can't afford to stay in blackpool, & the tickets on ebay are going to be expensive.
i have my mogwai ticket already, so that's comforting to know. i do, however. REALLLLLLY need to sort out okkervil river tickets. if i can't go to that, i will cry & go for a swim. & i can't swim.

Today has been spent relaxing, feeling depressed about the fact i'm not going to have any more nights snuggling with a certain someone whilst watching films, playing with luke pup & falling in love with an asian girl on youtube., or something. make up, hair & clothing tutorials. she is adorable & i want to buy her.
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